Unexpected...

I really should learn to expect the unexpected in my life. Sometimes the weirdest and craziest things happen to me, that I am usually just left scratching my head, wondering what the hell just happened to me!

Well, to continue, I got a very unexpected email from a "friend" in Germany. Normally I would shrug off the weird feeling, but this email shook me a little harder than most unexpected events, although, the spur-of-the-moment couch purchase had me freaked out for a few days...

But this guy that I know, I'll call him Jim, wrote me an email saying that he was going to be in the States, and at such a place that it's only a 5 hour drive from where I live.

The reason that Jim's email left me a little shaken and confused, was a string of events that happened in Germany... (about 4 years ago...)
I met Jim in Language Camp (the first month as an exchange student, our program put us through language camp to help us adjust to the language and culture). Jim was one of the instructors, and I was immediately drawn to him, because he reminded me a lot my Boy (who at the time was just my best friend. He's been elevated in status since). He had long hair that some of us girls braided into corn rows, and I also got my hair braided into cornrows. (Ugh, I'm pathetic, I know!) Later we took a picture together where we were wearing similar sunglasses, had our hair in cornrows, and we have a similar face structure. We looked like brother and sister, and I was crushing-hard-core. He had a hippy, laid-back, chaco-wearing kind of style, which that is something that I have always been drawn to.

After language camp, we wrote emails, and letters, and occasionally talked on the phone. Nothing serious, he was usually someone to chat with, and make me feel better about the strange situations I often encountered living with a host family, and attending school in a foreign country.

One afternoon, following a week of homesickness, I got a letter from Jim about a friend of his that was visiting the States, and invited me to his city (about an hour away from where I was - by train) to go to dinner, meet his friend, and maybe hang out with some of the other students that lived in the area. I begged my host-mom to let me go, and even told her who else was going to be there (It was sad, because I was 18, and not allowed to do anything! But I blame that on my host mom being a crazy female German responsible for a foreign exchange student...). Jim talked to her, and gave her the numbers of another students parents. We hurried and got everything worked out, and I had a weird feeling that I shouldn't go. Things would have turned out so different, and I would have saved myself about 70€ (at that time was about $120) if I hadn't gone...

But I did go. I got on the train, and contemplated the whole way. Thinking about what was going on, and what was going to happen, and blah blah blah blah blah. I get there, and we meet his friends at a nearby Italian restaurant. We all get pizza's and share. By this time, I learned that I was the only student, and everyone else were Jim's much older friends (did I ever mention that Jim is much-older than I? Oops.) . Most of the way into dinner, my cell phone rings. I look and it's my host mom. And I had an immediate sinking feeling in my stomach. I knew that things were going to go hay-wire.

She had called the home number of the other students, and discovered that no one was home. The family was in a neighboring city for something, and then I put two and two together. I was going to end up crashing at Jim's place, which he knew about the whole time, and would have gotten Jim and I in a schiess load of trouble. (Guess teacher-student things are a no-no, even if nothing inappropriate happens). My host-mom demanded that I catch the last train out, and make it home. I freak out and talk to Jim, and see that he realized he had been caught. I manage to jump on a train, but get confused about what station I need to get off at, to catch the very last train of the night home. I get off at the wrong station, and missed a train by about 5 minutes. I ended up taking a taxi home, which cost me about 50€ (not to mention the 20€ dumped into the train/bus tickets). I made it home, safe and sound, with only my host-dad waiting up for me. (I love and adore my host-dad, and miss him a lot. He is such a great guy). We talked about everything, and made me realize how stupid I had been.

Oh, and when I got home, I texted Jim and told him that I had made it home safe. After about 3-4 days of no reply, Jim calls the house. He talks to my host-mom and apologizes for the mis-understandings and everything that happened. I was sitting across the room, and it felt like I had a load of bricks sitting on my chest. Then my host-mom hung up. I was left with the load of bricks on my chest. No apology for me. I was heartbroken.

Which leads to why I am so shook up by Jim's email. I haven't had contact with him since that night (except for a couple of emails that were forwards that he was passing to everyone in his address list - but never anything real), until today.

I won't go, because of school, and work, and blah blah blah. But to be honest, I don't think I want to see him. We never talked about the night in the big city, and I don't want to go there. Maybe he's just being a dude, and doesn't realize how much I was hurt that night. Or... he could just be like me, and hope that by ignoring it, we can pretend that it never happened.

What do you guys think I should do? (Besides the obvious - go down there and kick him in the nards like he deserves...)
I'm half tempted, but realistically I won't go down there. I'm too chicken, but he doesn't have to know that. I'll just use the ever perfect excuse: I have school (finals being the last week of this month) and work. Too bad... right? ;)


Now I'm all confused and homesick for Germany.

Stupid, stupid, STUPID!







PS - Other unexpected (but happy) things that have happened in the last month: Kittens being born in a bag of miracle grow potting soil on our front porch; having The Boy pick me up from school, and after a few stops we ended up buying a new couch and bed; I also opened my very own Etsy store and have a jewelry blog. Wow!)